My second time to post this painting of my brother's face on my blog. Only this time I'm going to have a closer and deeper look on my brother.
Well I intend to have some posts as my sharing of a closer and deeper perspective about someone. So this whole post is not going to define the person, of course. this is my perspective, to dig in what i have seen and perceived all my life, in order to have something forgotten shown, to perceive their specialty I have not realized all my life because i'm much distracted for something else.
okay, this guy. my 6 years older brother. (23 years old now)
He is actually a guy with a real lots interesting sides. They all mixed into one big dough, abstract shape and colors, which represents himself as a figure full of abstraction.
The first side I am attracted most is his silly abnormal nasty kiddo side. I think we all have this sides inside us, the only thing that makes it different is on how high one has reached the comfort to the level where he/she can show it all. And he does. Not to the all people, but still, once he feels comfortable, he would express it all the way out to the point of madness. His weirdness flows out like a rush of water stream. You know, the moment when you are just so pumped up that you can not hold it all inside? I love that energy and sometimes he shows me that.
He is quite free expressing himself, so it does make sense when arts become the things he put interest on. (photography, music, painting). He makes a creation because he likes it and enjoys them along the way. If he has a better self consistency, he surely has been such an experts on so many things. And guess what is his big mistake so far? he is mistakken for taking a major which is 180' the way round to his personality. he was taking public administration and now on his effort to finish the shit.
Despite all of that, he does what he likes and skip what he does not. At first I thought he was quite cynicle with the mainstream tastes : the songs most played by teens nowadays, no. the outfits mostly used by people at his age, no. But I think that's because he holds his personal tastes that does not fit society. He has authentic tastes over a lot of things and he is okay with that. Well that does make my dad often feels the urge to buy him one whole new wardrobe. Really, think about this : As the graduated student, He comes to the highschool wearing a very chill printed beach pattern shirt, a shabby pant to the knee, hair all smooth and uncut, and swallow sandal. (swallow is on highest level of chill-cheap-downtoearth-ruber-sandal). Even most of the driver man there looks 10x more classy than him. but dude he is comfortable with that so even at first people think the way my dad does (wardrobe thingy), finally people feel okay with that too. yeah still with "harriii, harri." and shook their head.
He had a lot of silly moments i caught my eyes, and sometimes i was in too. He lied on the floor and I grasped his ankle tight and slide him around the living room to the kitchen back to the living room again, like he is a corpse. He often danced like a stupid drunk man and once he noticed it was a nice move, he repeated it over and over again and proud of himself, then said to me
"Din, can you do that?"
"what?"
"this." (he shows the move)
"no."
"come on you can."
"no."
"you bastard. come on follow me." then i follow and he laughed at me.
or sometimes
"din come up help my drawing"
*i kept silent because i was too lazy to move*
"Din!" ........
"Din!!!!" ..........
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN"
he does not stop until i get annoyed enough to stay.
or, for example like this
him : "what a wrinkled ugly banana!!" (after the statement, he looks at me with his ultimate idiot face)
me : ....
him : "ya??" (asking agreement, means 'right??')
i kept silent looking at him, wanted to know whats next come out
"ya???"
....
"ya???"
....
"ya??????"
.........
"ah you! say something. yaa?????????"
"........"
"yaa?????????????????"
"YAAAAA!!"
"nah" and then he put a big smile.
I dont know what did satisfy him with a fucking "ya".
And also, he is really easy affected by what he see and think is cool, in unusual way.
he google about ayam bangkok (ayam = chicken) , "mom, do we have enough yard to put some ayam bangkok?"
or, to the most extreme case. one time, he suddenly came home carrying a box made of bamboos. And when my mom wondered what it was and he opened it slowly, I heard a high toned voice. guess what??
it was a snake.
"I bought it with my Rp100.000 ($10)." after he explained his best to my suddenly high tensed mom, he still had to take it out of the house.
Being such a silly, and having a stupid actions a lot does not define him as a stupid person. His sharp analyzing skill over something is perhaps his natural skill. For he does not read a lot of books or newspaper, I think his literature is his surrounding and movies sometimes. he have a quick focused look and observation over something, and made a point afterward. They do make sense and pretty accurate even on few point, i'm not quite sure. He often has a debate with my father which is a very rational person and both are quite sharp arguing their rational point.
After all those silly of him, I have witnessed him being in a quite long term unhappiness too. So yeah, even the happiest person has to get through it all. He sometimes came to my room and said something serious about his life to me, most of the times i did not know how to react, or too confused to express my words but that is okay for him he just need to have someone to listen.
He is such an authentic, a guy with a genuine soul. he expresses what he wants, not to the point of a total genuine but he is much more genuine than some people.
Beautiful soul is all around.
Hope you love your own soul well enough.
Meet this guy
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Let me know what crosses your head :D