Portrait Souls

I drew some portraits few years ago for myself and for order sometimes, but it actually went more for my excitement knowing that i was able to make something alive similar. But as I was unnable to control my mood and my-easy-distracted-side, I ended up dumping them for months before I could totally finish them. After being screwed of getting through all the ugly face proportion and bad shading, I was more being depressed instead of enjoying the process. My only enjoyment was the moment I could totally finished them and see the result. At that point I was even thinking how portrait and realism drawing was not good idea for me, because it used less imagination and its insist for similarity with the real figure. I couldn't express whatever I wanted.

But as time goes by, i got realized how realism and specially : portrait is actually more than that.

What's with those faces? This varies, of course. but as for me when portrait is looked right, we will somehow be remembered that we are not the only living thing in this world. we are not the only one who has big dream to achieve, who suffered, who have been hurt, who have been on the happiest state of life, who have been losing. Those wrinkles, those sparkles and glowing, are all signs of what they have been through. Throwing my sight on them has become one of way to rebuild the connection and expanding the horizon of life, for the smallness of self-centredness is somehow getting slowly blurred along the way. By really looking at others and find the beauty, we learn how to love and how to really see, instead of being too attached with goal to be seen.

Also, I was intensely seeing the stranger portait project done by few photographers on flickr.com . At first it was difficult to set myself like i'm interested with those strangers' faces. But apparently the caption they put is interesting enough to help me understand more, and to see more those face i did not know ever exist a second before. 

It is not so easy to recognize the beauty of other people if one is not used to.

Looking at their faces with no judgement, is a natural skill that digs equally to the amount of practice. it is taking effort, really, for people (like me) who used to compare one and other, and judge other people not in a nice way, not in a way that i wanna be judged. it is a soul project.

and as for the portrait drawing process... really, despite all of the accumulated seconds of enjoyment and relaxation seeing their faces, I still have to practice myself hard to set myself  being comfortable for the rest of hours. To stay relaxed and focused on their faces instead of flying away with my random unimportant childish babbling thoughts!

here are some samples of my portrait i had been working with, digitally but in manual way. actually this is also my attempt for face proportion study and color mix experiments.

This one is my first attempt of digital portrait. Her name is Carissa Perusset. Apparently I like her style and the way she is, though.. yeah dude I never meet her personally it was ask.fm that gave me a chance to know her. and she is surprisingly a year younger than me! (she is 16).


anyway, what do you think about her expression when you look close?

hahahahaha dude.

if you know me well, you should know this one. My brother!

He is one who had messing around with my stuffs and apparently, some of them are nowhere to be found afterward. But other than how messy and destructive he is, he is actually a guy i often feel envy with. He is kind of free expressing himself, freak yes, most of the times. He is this and that, you know, sometimes he can act and speak like a smart and wise dude, but sometimes ( a bit more)  his trapped freaky 5 years old nasty kid soul inside him is rushing out.

I posted this on instagram and he commented :

"BGST!" (means like BSTRD!) read : bastard.

and he said, "Why the f*ck did you draw me all so dark. Look at those lips, you give impression like I'm a smoker!"

well.

you smoke around 5 cigarettes a day, what can i say.

I am planning to have some more later. I had told my mate whose doing pretty well at photography to do the same through the lens. how cool is that? that is not a new thing but sounds pretty exciting for us. 

anyway I will have some few more of the drawing in near future, wait for the post!

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