Overcome the mind battle + Speed Painting "Come"

My head was seriously so full of template and HTML code recently. Other than my art store blog, the result goes to my portfolio slide right on the tab next to this one.

And to make it all elegant, i put all black on this blog's theme. i'm sorry if you feel like someone is creeping you from your back now.

but seriously, i don't know if the color and theme has that big impact toward the impression of the writing. On the previous bright theme, It was read like HEYY GUYS I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT MAKING ANY UPDATES!. and now it's like ....hey guys... I'm so sorry for not making any updates........

yeah black why are you so deep.

Anyway I'm on my mid test again and today is the first day. But yesterday I felt the urge to paint. so I did spend my night with my canvas, kind of offensive for my stack of math notes, perhaps.

I was not really sure what it was going to be. I was still with fear of making mistakes, i knew it. (Anyway it gives me a kind of new perspective about the artwork that comes from other artist that I see, how it was made by the fear they tried to overcome, the portion varies, of course.) I finally decided not to get further on thinking and started by go with strokes of brush.

The beginning was always the hardest, the few first strokes seemed so intimidating for it was nowhere close to my expectation. I remember there was bundle of thoughts saying "no dude this is gonna end up like the previous one you made, you're nowhere near good with this one technique."  And I almost gave up by thinking to make a big stroke over them. Indeed, I have never done any skin color study on canvas, I was all dependent on my intuition and I don't know why am I so lazy with cleaning the brush and mixing the color on the palette in a proper tidy way. so really, apparently my palette is on the canvas itself. :')

and here it is the speed painting of it that I made.

(By the way I hate how youtube become so strict nowadays with song copyright :") )

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Beginning of Holiday

As I scrolled down the posts and have a quick read, there are plenty of them with cheer tone opening saying how happy I am having this holiday, or how crap I feel when it's about to meet the end. Well probably this is another one.

HAPPY HOLIDAAAY. :D

My holiday has been going pretty well so far, nothing so glimmering and stuff but not boring too. It's pretty sad seeing people in holiday stating how bored they are while I remember they were so enthusiastic welcoming the holiday on the end of the schooldays. That gives you a bit of idea that no ideal place is somewhere to be found, to fit you well if you can not enjoy whatever happens now. wo ho im starting again.

well about holiday, My friend and I had committed  to create and post an artwork each day as the stimulation of our productivity. Yeah this holiday is pretty crucial and would be such a big lost if not spent well.  Because once we make a comeback on the first day of school, we will be on our last grade of highschool and ought to face bunch of university entrance preparation, such as national exam and other additional exercises and exam, probably in order to get your score higher so it will helps you on fitting a seat of certain good university. (yeah people criticize this whole bullshit education system.)

Thinking about how busy it might be, we should make time really well for the whole out of academy activity now. After a long pause on making new artwork, finally I decided to paint something. The canvas was out of stock at home so I went around the corner and found my old artwork which was pretty mess. It was made on my 5th grade, an attempt of practicing what I've just saw an impressionist painter did.

After making lots of strokes with a little experiment, this how it turned out.

It was enough to stimulate me doing another painting so I created another, not yet going out to have new stock of canvas so I rolled around and found another old painting which the color was too dark so I put random color over it and ciaaaaaaaaattt!

they are acrylic on canvas.

I have some more paintings done this holiday but probably on next post.

thanks, have a nice holiday!

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Blood, Bitter, Dark, Mystery

In this lovely holiday, most of my time is spent for reading, reading and writing. not so much time for art so far, but now the passion feels starting to bloom again.

But i thankful for loving those three things. reading, writing, and creating (painting or drawing). because they all stick to eachother. they affect eachother. while reading, i create my own state of fantasy, opinion. my improving thought is poured through writing.
the emotion and fantasy i get when i read book, is poured through painting. on my canvas.
afterward, i write about the result here.

i think everything sticks to eachother. everything. we just have no idea about the complexity of how brain works. absorb things and mix it up, and where will it end up is up to you. Praise God.

in the lovely morning of... well i don't know what day is it now. (effect of holiday) I woke up and had a glance on my painting tools. i really miss that feeling when i paint. after little bit thinking of what to paint, i decide not to think.

the emotion effect of psycho thriller novel titled kitarsis I read over last night is still fresh in me. blood, bitter, dark, mystery. the emotion is still strong.

so I give it all to my intuition.

and here what it gives back.

acrylic on A3 Canson watercolor pad.

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Be One with Nature (Another abstract)

wow I love this week, because it is a week of holiday for all the highschool in Indonesia. but most of all, i could do all  my hobbies in peace and it got me so productive. I've written 4 posts (this post is counted) for this blog and 2 for other blog in this week, I'm creating art like crazy, watching movies, reading books and so on. (have i mentioned homework?)

so i made another painting yesterday. another abstract. you probably still wonder the style of my artwork because you find many kind of medium and style scattered here on my blog hehe. i dont focus in only one stream. my artwork is not forever abstract or forever portrait or doodle because  i'm a kind of moody and i love to make something new that attracts me. that's why you'll find many different things here. or that's probably because i still on my way to find the best for me. it's not a big deal though, as i do enjoy what i'm working on.

lately abstract has its turn to entice me. It is a very good way to experiment things. I can fully muster all my feelings into the canvas by abstract. often the ideas come as the progress is going like a painting i did yesterday. i had no idea what would it be. but as i kept my hand moving, the idea suddenly came up like a whoooosh

as i'd stung by concrete idea, the soul gathered in one and pour its self through the brushes.

here is the painting i made yesterday and little step of how did it go

still didn't know what was it going to be

final result : 

BE ONE WITH NATURE 

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A War Victim's Heritage

you're on the boat on the middle of the sea. Suddenly you see a floating box and grab it. you hardly uncover it and put out what inside there. a letter?

"I'm a war victim. one of thousands.

the bruises, tired, and hungry streak is nothing compared to our fear hearing the sound of cracking gun, hissing grenade and finally a boom. 
we run our barefoot. fast. until i feel like no ground beneath. it feels more like flying.


No wonder we take sleeping as great reward. 
I pinch hard my own cheek every morning just to find out if I really am still alive. 
I move my finger to the nostril of my beloved around, just to know if they're still breathing. don't know whether my reaction will be a breathe out of relief or burst of tears. 

when people from other part of world curiously wonder when will they die, we're here more lucky because we've got the certain clue. it's close. 
now fingers are here to count the remaining minutes of life. we wait for each turn.

death also counts its finger. day by day, I've lost many.

seeing them, the beloved toppled down dying from being shot and starving just meters away, even less, and this sight cross straight through my eyes. how it is now horrifically a daily view.

are you people still scared of blood? good news, now to me blood is only red liquid, that's all. 

don't know when is the end page of this thriller book going to show up. it's like they keep adding the writing, forcing us to face more chapter. we're tired of this non-stop killing routine. 

now i question hard something.

are we(war victims) the only human on this earth? 
I heard that population of human race reach billions. where are they? isn't our screaming caught by their ear?! or do they just cover it and pretend like there is no sound?!

not all of them keeping the devil soul inside, that was what i trusted. but now i doubt it.



I don't know where this wave will bring my letter to. i just need to flow all my sorrow and pain away."

you catch a sight of smaller box inside it and open it. which inside is.......

acrylic on small canvas

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The Untold City

well it's only 2 days left until i finally back to school again. it feels like the last post of my holiday welcome cheers was only written few days ago. please bring me back to the first day of holiday please oh please T_T bafttt, ;_; okay, face this. back to school. lost in daily routinity. drown under stack of notes full of wild alphabets and numbers that will be meaningless by next year. really, i wont make it sounds that bad... but.... it does..

nevermind, they say rainbow will appear after the rain.

and well.. as the holiday time I had was already less than 55 hours, i decided to make a painting. i was interested to try abstract painting of city so here we go.

I really do enjoy how i can let the brush dancing salsa freely on canvas as a dance floor and create the colors for every move. and ended up like...

i name this "the untold city"

it's using acrylic on 20x20 cm sized canvas. done in 2 hours and half.

thanks people, enjoy the last seconds of your holiday wisely! good luck! :p

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Green Misty Forest

hello people! in this post i'm going to show you a painting i did few weeks ago during my f*ckin lovely final exam :p and i'll let you know a bit about the step of it. actually I'm still a beginner in painting, a very beginner. so I'm sorry if you'll think that this is so lacking of good and clear explanation. I'm trying however, enjoy! ;) 

nah this blank canvas sometime look intimidating for a newbie painter like me. it requires a braveness to make a start, to put on the first color.  what color? where to put? how much paint?.......... why...? what......whatever.

first of all,  i put on a dark green acrylic on the top of canvas. spread lighter green as the sky is getting closer to the light. then blend it up from light  to dark, back to the light again so it would get blended up smoothly at last.

*dancing*

paint far positioned objects in light green to arise the impression of faraway sight, like it's wrapped by mist.

uuu so faraway :O | -_-

when the color is getting darkened, you've made the object seems closer to the viewer. get some layers of tree with different darkness on each layer, so it will be like this. :p

tadaaa~ my first forrest painting ever made. 

well there are sooo much things i need to learn to upgrade my painting skill and I'm so happy to live in the era of multimedia, with internet to explore more about my passion. I'm so happy too that i had accidentally stumbled on many great artists' youtube channel who keep updating new videos of their inspiring amazing artworks. one of them is Gagnon Studio with lots of landscape speed painting videos spread up on its channel. it really helps much! go check it out!

nah now I've got 2 landscape artworks that i made during the final exam :p it was much more enjoyable than reading stack of geography notes :p (call me a brat, nevermind:p)haha. so what do you think?

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Lonely?

"they say i'm a pity lonely tree. grow up in solitary with no company.
but I stand on meadow, getting whispered by wind, tickled by grasses. endlessly. everyday. so what's actually the definition of lonely?"

at first, this painting didn't look  nice at all. i thought this would ended up joining the other stacks of fail artworks underneath my desk. but then i remember this is a painting. judging that fast is not allowed. just let the brush keep moving.

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Fake a Smile

let me tell you a bit about the detail of picture above.
her skin is clearly drawn using pencils, with various thickness. too bad that i dont remember the exact size of them. X_X my head got smashed this hard?!. oh no,... i know... its not smashed, i think it's just the fact that school days will be coming in few days ahead...
back to the topic. i used pencil color for the bright blue eyes, acrylic for those red hottie  lips.
ow wow ow, i almost forget the strings. it's made with a ballpoint. :D

 has your head already tried to interpret the meaning of my artwork above? feel free to let me know what's in your mind! haha.

i have my own interpretation which is represented by a quote below i just found in tumblr.

"have you ever had to get through a day, smiling at people, talking, as everything were normal and okay, while all the time you felt like you were carrying a leaden weight of unhappiness inside you?"

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