#1. You Are...

Why do you think I become so depressed like this?

Because you’re a very real nice dude but sadly blind.

What?

Yea you won’t have your eyes really see the true you. You want others open their blindness while 

you are the one who is all blind! Get all the barriers away here! (swiping her eyes)

How do you assume that?

How do you pretend you won’t be assumed that way?

Hey!

Hey! Come on now, people like to be seen in a way they want to be seen. In a way to construct their delusional perfect image of themselves. My words are something you want to hear because it is something you never hear from yourself! Come, listen to me

What’s now?

You are beautiful

what?

(taking a mirror) watch your face, you’re blushed like a tomato. You know why?

Because.. I’m.. flattered?

Because you finally hear the word you want to hear all your life. 

but there are so many who is more than me.

and there are so many who thinks the way you do too.

So what I need to do more often is..

yes, look at me.

What are you doing??

Giving my self a warm hug. For all the weirdness..

For all the beauty that they don't want to have on screen

For my insecurity 

For the authentic me to be the one and only...

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Let Spontaneous Leads You

I was very baffled by the choices of books were displayed along the shelves. it was like.. God, they're so tempting, if only i could buy 10 of them. but NO!, yelled my money. so i came to the conclusion that i had to wisely pick 3 of them and it takes such long time to make it. and finally i could bring three to the cashier and I'm so glad that i've picked it right because now i have a book titled "kreatif sampai mati" by Wahyu Aditya (creative until die/forever creative) that gave me bunches of inspirations.

it said that being creative is a choice. it is not a gift like what most of people say, it is nor forever connected with art. you can involve creativity in everything that you're doing. and it is not mingled in blood since born, it's about how often you involve it, how often you practice it. So erase thought that says "I'm not supposed to do this kind of things, i'm not creative" because everyone have chance to make their self become creative. it's just about do you want to grow it or not.

it was interesting when it came to a page that talks about "spontaneous." yes i often keeping my hand still just by thinking "what to draw? what would it means? it sounds interesting but i wanna make something different..." something like that. it's not important. and worse, it sometime ended me putting back all my drawing tool and let the blank paper stay blank. keeping the abstract ideas in my head stay abstract, resulting no concretion.

now i have to believe that as I keep making one, the intuition will lead me. so, there should be no worries about lacking stock of ideas and just move your hand.

i started to wipe away all the unimportant thoughts when I'm about to create something. i wanna let my hands know the feels of freedom. i won't let my passion's trapped inside.

so this is what i worked at as I started my sunday morning.

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DEVILS BEHIND MY BACK

"Shake It Out" - FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

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Free Your Mind, Free Your Imagination

Aren’t you amazed by the power of brain? For specific, the power of the imagination? Images you’ve never seen in real life, freely spinning in your mind. dead or not existing creatures are turned alive, freely making motion in your mind. An idol you’ve never met personally, suddenly become the closest partner of you in your mind. some places you’ve been dying for, suddenly have its wind smoothly kissed your skin in your mind. You can form anything for free. thousand pieces of paper seem not enough to have your imagination pour on it.

Let’s create your state of imagination, Let's get drown from reality.

Then stick pair of wing on your head, let it fly.

 and enjoy your journey.

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Let The Pen Run Wild.

so we've all already been on exciting holiday.... and..............i'm super happy for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (seriously, i dont exaggerate those command marks, I'm really that happy!)

and only couple days to count before we reach 2013. 2013. ohyeah 2013!! just wonder how fast we've already gone through every single days until it almost reaches the end of a year again. omg i hope 2012 wasn't another year gone to waste. the change on last number of year doesn't have any mean if we just stay the same and not making any positive change, right? yes, right. (?!) and by the way i still have no planning for the new year celebration. any  idea? :p

haha okay, that's the good news. by the way,  i produce lots of artworks recently. feeling like recently was the highest productivity in my life, so far. i hope in 2013 i'll produce at least twice more than this year. hopefully it will hit at least 200 amounts of artworks. which mean i'll surely be more often updating this blog too. :p hope this will really happen and not just a blah!

okay, some of the artworks were made spontaneously. like these two artworks. let the pen run wild.

yeay merry christmas and happy new yeaaaar!

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Baby bee

hello people, how are you guys doing? me kinda fine thankyou :p.

ok so just for your information, my first high school's final exam will be coming in 2 days. with math and religion test waiting me on the first day! somebody need to help me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously math, be nice to me, ok? :'( (why the fu am I still peacefully on blog btw?-_-)

ok forget about totally not reassuring final exam. an artwork had just done few hours ago and i'll let you know how it started....

 and how it looks like at the end

oh yea i made the face using pencil color, and crayon for the bee costume. i actually feeling a kind of regret as the costume actually kinda messy in real look. i think later i have to be much more patient and stay focus so there shouldn't be a thing to distract me which push me to finish my halfway artwork in hurry.

i put this red brushes on the background using photoshop accidentally. fortunately it didn't make it look worse. it even gets better and less monotone. what do yea think? which one do you prefer btw?

ok so that's all for now. i have to put my eye on my math book after this. _-_ wish me luck and see you!

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Bunny Girl

so it's been weekend again, huh? it feels just yesterday i didn't wake up so morning to waddle on my way to school. -_-' well, kinda scared and startled how time has brought me this fast. But it's ok, let's make it less less lesssss wasted for pointless things! enjoyy!! :D *spirited

Last night i was just randomly made a sketch of a bunny girl. but as sleep alert streaked too soon, the finishing was just done today, few hours ago.

 well i have a planning to convert this into T-shirt. and maybe you can grab one? hihi~. hope it would really happen soon, wish me luck!!

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DELAYED PRESIDENT REQUESTS FINALLY FINISHED ;"D

ok, actually i've got this requesnt about in may 2012. it was my daddy's friend (om saiful) asked me to draw indonesian first three presidents to be hung on his office wall. they are Ir. Soekarno, Soeharto, and B.J Habibie. wow, how cool! i thought.

ok so i drew soekarno on my A4 paper. it was kinda stressing because the paper wasn't good enough for shading. And after it was done, i didnt think it's really bad though Ir.Soekarno seemed lil bit older. but later, too bad i just  realize how om saiful doesnt worth that small sized paper. and the next day, i found my kneaded eraser stick on my soekarno drawing.... i pull the eraser, but it left dirty marks on the paper... ok, i really needed to make the new one on bigger paper.

and the new one wasn't that easy too... it was really hard to make it similiar.. though finally i could make it.

what do yeaa think?

and few days later, i drew B.J habibie instead Soeharto because i found habibie was more easy to draw with his big resolution photo. so i started. it was less depressing though.

after drawing habibie, i drew Om Saeful. well, too bad my dad had given it to him yet i took a picture of it.

after months later, i finally had enough mood to draw Soeharto, the #2 president. I made the sketch, and i shaded it few weeks later... after a half shade, i finally got a mood to continued another half part few months later... and yet a half finished, i got lazy again, and just YESTERDAY, i started again and FINISH it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry sir... it's not that i hate you... all worth to blame is my laziness... sincerly, Ahdini.

i put those 3 presidents drawings in a row.......... what a relief.. you know? it was may 2012 while Om Saeful requested me this, and it was YESTERDAY, November 10th 2012, I eventually finished them............(what a nice delay -_-)

:)

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Owl request

so since my friends in new school have found something in me, (which in this case is my ability in drawing,) one by one request come slapping over. it's delightful instead a painful slap. for me, request is just okay, as long as I'm feeling appreciated with that and it's not lined by depressing deadline. i hate deadline. who doesn't?

ok, so one of my unyu arabian friend asked me to draw an owl. this would be my first owl drawing. ( i dont draw flora/fauna often) . As i put the image of owl drawings i've ever seen as my references in my head, finally my hand would moves freely, making pattern enjoyably.

here it is.   

and then i think it would be fun with color. so i put some

and she appreciates it. thanks naila keren :P

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Tree of Inspiration

have you ever been getting stuck by the moment of lacking inspiration/ideas? when you feel like you want to draw something, that you already have a passion in you, pencil drawing in your grip, but then your hand and mind drop still, like 'ok... now what?'

fairly, there's always moment i can't predict when, where such brilliant ideas will crosses my mind all of sudden, and i just let it grows and grows smashing against everything around that used to restrain , jutting out branches and leafs. arising the ideas that'd never crossed before, followed by the bloom of improvisation.

Tree of inspiration

the concept came while the trees was in progress.

by the way, when is exactly that magic moment would love to come hit? i have no idea. but it seems like bathroom/toilet has great hidden magic power of inspiration stimulation....

ok what a gross ending hahaha thanks anyway for the attention. :) have a nice day! 

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Fake a Smile

let me tell you a bit about the detail of picture above.
her skin is clearly drawn using pencils, with various thickness. too bad that i dont remember the exact size of them. X_X my head got smashed this hard?!. oh no,... i know... its not smashed, i think it's just the fact that school days will be coming in few days ahead...
back to the topic. i used pencil color for the bright blue eyes, acrylic for those red hottie  lips.
ow wow ow, i almost forget the strings. it's made with a ballpoint. :D

 has your head already tried to interpret the meaning of my artwork above? feel free to let me know what's in your mind! haha.

i have my own interpretation which is represented by a quote below i just found in tumblr.

"have you ever had to get through a day, smiling at people, talking, as everything were normal and okay, while all the time you felt like you were carrying a leaden weight of unhappiness inside you?"

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